


Losing Grip

by Larkawolfgirl



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Confessions, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-30 21:40:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8550079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larkawolfgirl/pseuds/Larkawolfgirl
Summary: Emma is about to face her death yet all she can see is Regina.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by Rosesdancinginmymind's [drabble](http://rosesdancinginmymind.tumblr.com/post/153136704734/emma-holds-reginas-hand-for-the-first-time) on tumblr.

Regina’s contour was illuminated by magenta. Despite the situation, Emma was unable to move a muscle or take her eyes off her. She looked fierce and magnificent like a lioness protecting her young. She’s always beautiful and strong, but something about her image right then made Emma’s skin prickle. It felt like Regina’s true moment of glory. As if Emma would forever mourn if she failed to witness even one millisecond of it.

Her thoughts drifted. To other versions of Regina she’d seen. Her conniving ways, vengeful eyes, overbearing speech. All Regina’s she hated. Her body shaking from sorrow, desperation twisting her face, concerned words, and motherly instincts. All Regina’s she greatly admired and wanted to protect. But Emma’s mind lingered on one Regina in particular. The one she only came to know recently. This Regina was kind and open and remorseful. She desired change and companionship and seemed to blossom most strongly around Emma herself. The Savior couldn’t help longing to be her savior in what ways she could. She wanted to see Regina through into her truest self.

She always wondered if there was more between them than there seemed. As strong as Regina was, she was vulnerable and always reaching toward others, Emma in particular. During slim moments of extreme weakness, the older woman would deflate in her arms, body quivering, arms straining for something of comfort to hold onto. Emma would pull her close and whisper into her hair that she understood, that Regina didn’t need to suffer any longer. This was the extent of their physical contact, but it stirred a longing Emma didn’t realize she had beforehand. She didn’t just want to touch Regina to uplift her spirits during troubling times but during the best of times as well as any other. She wanted the freedom to clasp her hand and feel along the skin of her palm and wrist. She wanted to properly hug her and kiss her temple. And when their eyes locked and Regina’s eyes locked briefly with her lips, Emma wondered if the other woman wanted more as well.

But she never asked out of fear. Too many unfavorable outcomes were possible. All her other relationships ended in misery, so why would this one be any different? Especially when she now knew she was destined to die. But now, seeing Regina shine with such grandeur, Emma’s resolve hardened. She may die tonight, but if she must, that was even more reason for her to tell her how she felt. To stop shielding herself just as a means of protection.

Regina shot one more ball of fire toward Hyde before he fell in a heap. Extracting a vial from her pocket, she poured the tethering potion over him, then over a small pocket watch with his name scrawled across the front. “I command you to leave Storybrook and to never harm another soul.” He didn’t move, but Emma had no doubt the magic would prove effective once he regained consciousness.

Regina turned toward Emma with messy hair but a satisfied smile. “There. Ready to progress?”

“In a moment. I need to tell you something first.”

Regina’s lips straightened into seriousness. “You better not be saying goodbye or reciting your last will and testament. I already told you, I won’t let you die tonight.”

“I know.” Emma gave her a gentle smile. “Thank you for always being here for me.”

“That’s what friends do.”

“I know.” Emma took her hand ignoring the surprised look she received in response and felt along her soft skin as she had imaged so many times before. “I’ve come to care about you a lot, Regina. I’m not about to lay down and die without a fight, but I’m also not about to die without telling you that first.”

Regina took a small gulp and raised her head a smidgen. “What exactly are you saying?”

“That you mean more to me than a friend. I just wanted you to know that.”

“I…” Regina glanced at the ground for a second before staring directly into her eyes. “I’ve liked you for a while. I just didn’t feel that I deserved to be with you after everything I’ve done.”

“That’s stupid.”

She gulped again. “I know.” Her voice was quiet and her fingers began to feel along Emma’s skin. “It is just that I’ve put your family through so much. Put you through so much.”

Emma’s lips turned down ever-so-slightly. “Yes, but you’ve also given me so much. Henry wouldn’t have been born or be who he is today if it wasn’t for you. We’ve all forgiven you. It’s time you do the same.”

“You’re right.”

As soon as the word was out of her mouth, the other woman leaned forward until their lips met. Emma’s hand squeezed hers unconsciously. The kiss was tender and mild, but Emma didn’t care. She’d had passionate kisses, bruised lips, and grubby hands; that wasn’t what she wanted now. She wanted resolution. Of their feelings, her conviction, and lingering regrets. If she really was to die tonight, this would make it bearable.

When Regina pulled back her eyes shone with unshed tears. “Alright, we should move on. The others can’t hold her off forever.”

Emma’s face hardened and she nodded. “Right.”

They moved onward, mission-focused, but their hands never parted.

The evil queen smirked at the winded Charming family. “I told you before, you can’t win against me. Even if you could, Regina would die as well.”

“As if I’d let that happen!” Emma shouted, moving her body as if to shield her from an invisible attack.

The evil queen cackled. “I won’t hurt her. But you, miss Savior, you are another story. See, I don’t even need to defeat you, you’ll defeat yourself.”

“It doesn’t matter. I will protect this family even if it kills me.”

“Mom—”

“I’m sorry, Henry. I can’t back out of this.”

Regina gripped her hand again. “You aren’t fighting alone.”

Emma smiled at her then kissed at her temple. “I know.”

A fireball shot at them as the evil queen made a gagging sound. Emma fixed disdainful eyes on her, forming a shield just in time. “Aren’t you two cute. Makes me want to gag.”

“Go right ahead. How about you cough up a lung while you’re at it?” Regina raised a brow at her counterpart whose smirk only grew deeper.

“For a bunch of heroes, you aren’t putting up much of a fight. What, are you, scared?”

Emma took a step forward, ignoring the shouts of protest around her. “I’m not scared of you.”

A ball of white energy shot from her hand toward the queen’s face, but she diverted its path with a simple wave of her hand. “You’ll have to do better than that.”

She threw a second fireball toward her, and Emma lunged out of its path. Her hand found the hilt of her sword as she closed in on her. The queen tilted her head in amusement as she summoned her own sword out of a puff of magenta smoke.

Metal struck metal, drowning out the hushed muttering from the others. The queen’s movements were agile enough to keep Emma on her toes and soon Emma’s eyes widened as the sword shook in her hand before falling from her grasp entirely. Black covered her vision in a sudden wave and a silent cry left her throat. She was sure that would be the end of her, but when her vision cleared once more, the evil queen was standing in rigid stillness.

Emma curled her shaking hand in her other, sighing in relief. The immobilization spell worked.

“This ends now!” Regina’s voice rang out sharp as a knife. Emma turned to her as she approached, trying feebly to catch her arm, but Regina stomped right up to the evil queen. All eyes watched in equal shock as Regina’s arms encircled her in an embrace. Her voice came out soft and gentle now, almost too quiet for Emma to hear from her close proximity. “I know it hurts to be the evil queen. It’s alright. You don’t need to do anything.” The evil queen’s eyes took on a vacant stare, limbs going limp against her. “Shh.” Regina made a cooing noise and stroked along her hair.

It was hard to tell exactly what was happening, and at first Emma thought she was seeing things, but soon enough it was apparent that the evil queen had actually sunk into Regina. Along with that revelation came Regina’s scream of pain as her body tumbled to the ground. On pure instinct, Emma raced to her, lifting her head into her lap immediately. A moment later, Henry was beside her.

“What’s wrong?”

“She’s rejecting me.” Regina buried her face against Emma’s jacket, screaming out again. Her words came out broken by gasps of air. “My feelings for you. She thinks you hate her.”

Henry turned horror-stricken eyes to Emma and her hand clenched around Regina’s shoulder. This was her doing. She was hurting the one she loved yet again. “Why? You should have just let me die.”

“I’ve seen my love die twice already.” Her hand trembled as it found her cheek. “I’d rather die myself than let that happen again.”

“Damn it. I’m the Savior. It’s my job to protect those I care about.”

Regina’s chuckle was followed by a strained cough. “You have.” She took Henry’s hand before turning toward Snow and David. “Look, your—our—family’s safe. I’m glad things are like this.”

Her complexion was growing paler, and Emma could feel tears welling in her eyes. “You can’t just leave me. I—I love you!” Absently, she could hear her mother’s gasp of surprise, but all she could focus on was the woman in her arms and the pain building in her chest. Regina’s eyes and mouth both widened, but Emma kissed her before she could speak. It was as tender as the last but was mixed with desperation and salty tears.

When Emma pulled back, some color had found its way back into her skin. “You—do you really mean that?” Her voice sounded more natural now.

“Of course I do.” Regina closed her eyes, and Emma shook her. “Hey! Don’t you die on me.”

Regina smiled softly and shook her head. “I’m fine.”

“What?”

Regina touched her abdomen affectionately. “She settled.”

“But why?”

The older woman chuckled. “True love’s kiss, maybe?”

Emma smacked her arm playfully. “I’m serious.”

“I know. I’ve…made peace with myself.”

It was Emma’s turn to chuckle. “Is that all?”

“No. Emma Swan,” she began in a whimsically serious tone, “I love you as well.”

Emma’s face broke into a giant grin. “I figured as much.”

It wasn’t until later when they were all home safe and sound that Emma realized her hand had stopped shaking.


End file.
